I am currently sprawled across the couch, waiting for Project Runway to begin. I have my favorite green fleece blanket wrapped around my leg, and I am anxiously awaiting my show. And curling up with my puppy and going to sleep a little later.

A few days ago, I would have rather ran a marathon than have sat on this couch.

It all started last Friday. I got home from work early, and I took Lucy on a walk. When we got back to the house, I noticed she was constantly scratching and realized, to my dismay, there were a few fleas crawling on her.

After picking off all the pests I could, I gave her a bath, thinking that would make things better.

She stopped itching for a little bit, and I figured we were in the clear. Maybe this was something like the tick scare we had last year.

But no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn’t the end. That was just the beginning.

I awoke Saturday morning with some bites on my stomach. I figured a mosquito or two found its way into my home and participated a feeding frenzy while I was sleeping. I shrugged it off.

Sunday morning, I woke up with more bites, this time on my legs and ankles. Once again, I shrugged it off, hopped in the shower and headed out to church and for my one day off.

It wasn’t until Sunday afternoon that I realized what was happening.

It rained while I was at church and the mall, and I rushed home to enjoy the storm with Lucy. One of my favorite rainy day activities is napping, and I immediately passed out when I sat down in front of the television, wrapped in my green blanket, and my puppy curled up next to me.

I woke up an hour or so later with a few fleas crawling on my shirt and pants and proceeded to have a mini-breakdown after picking them off me and drowning them in the sink.

I did the math.

Apparently, my yard has fleas. Thus, my dog has fleas, even though I put that flea medication on her shoulders every month. And since my dog has fleas and sleeps in my bed and fawns all over me every chance she gets? I MUST HAVE FLEAS.

Que me freaking out.

I was happy to leave the home Monday morning for work because I was itching so much. It wasn’t that fleas were jumping and crawling all over me, but the fact that Lucy was scratching so much made me feel I should also be.

I didn’t know what to do or how to defeat these pests, so I did what any unsure/needy pet owner would do. I called my vet’s office.

The people at my vet’s office know me by the sound of my voice. THAT is how often I have called them throughout this past year. They all know and love Lucy and have been so helpful with every problem we’ve had.

So when I called and told Rebecca about fleas attacking Lucy, my home and me, she gave me instructions as to how we were going to make this better.

First off, I was going to give Lucy some Benadryl to help with the itching.

(THIS was an interesting experience, to say the least. Lucy Belle is not one for taking any kind of medication that don’t taste like peanut butter or beef. So when she spit out the pills and refused to open her mouth after several attempts to pry her jaws open and shove the medicine down her throat, I got out her Kong and filled it with peanut butter. And the pills. It was a done deal.)

Secondly, I was going to come into the office and get some flea medication, as well as some spray to coat EVERY surface in my home. I would do that, let it sit for an hour to kill all fleas, and then vacuum, vacuum, vacuum.

And lastly, I was going to go to a local home supply store and buy some fire ant/flea killer to place in my yard.

…

Yeah.

I don’t know if y’all know this about me, but I am NOT someone who enjoys yard work or, you know, anything related to pest control. So I’m sure my friends and family would have laughed if they saw me waddling around the yard with that 20 lb. bag of fire ant killer, flinging it in every direction and going as fast as I could to beat the thunderstorm brewing…

But I got it done.

Then I sprayed down all the surfaces in my home, top to bottom.

And then we went for an hour-long walk.

When we got back to the house, I gave Lucy a long bath. (She hopped into the tub herself! We’re making progress!) And then I vacuumed for about 45 minutes, sucking up anything and everything that could have bitten me OR my dog in the past days.

That was Tuesday evening.

It’s Thursday evening, and I have not seen, heard or FELT a flea since that night. Lucy is scratching less, and all is well in our household. Other than the fact that someone growled at me when I tried to sit with her because she was eating a rawhide.

I hope it stays that way. And I hope the bites all over my body heal up quickly so I won’t look like a swarm of insects attacked me at random.

So there you have it, folks. My name is E.P., I’m almost 25, and I had fleas.

What’s your story?

                          

A lot has happened since I last posted here.

I went to a wedding in Indiana. It was amazing. The weekend was full of love, and I want to get married. (Duh.)

I spent days and nights at work, but things have not been crazy recently. I’m taking solace in the calm before the storm. Football season starts TOMORROW. (Insert crazy face and screams and pompoms and dancing mascots here.) Consequently, my life will become more hectic.

I visited my boyfriend and his family in Louisiana this weekend. (My weekend — Sunday night to Tuesday morning.) I don’t know if I’ve said it here before, but I absolutely ADORE his family (and him, too!) Lucy came along for the ride this time, and she made things interesting by barking at the boy’s mother whenever she saw her and terrorizing small animals in the backyard. All in all, it was a good time. And I kind of want to go back now.

Living arrangements fell through, and I’m currently moving my belongings into a little bungalow in an older neighborhood in my town. We spent until MIDNIGHT last night to get most all of my furniture into the home. There’s more left at the old apartment, though, and I wonder how I will fit it all in here. But I can already tell I’m going to love this place, even if there isn’t a washer or dryer or a dishwasher.

So I’m moving forward, friends. Slowly and surely. I’m in transit (and fighting with the wireless Comcast Internet that just doesn’t want to work for me.) So bear with me while I straighten everything out. I shouldn’t take too long.

What’s new with you?

                          

ME: “I wish I could teach Lucy how to vaccum up all her hair because it’s obnoxious.”

MY BOY: “…”

ME: “You know the allergist said I need to vacuum once a day? It’d probably be more manageable if I did it, but vacuuming still sucks. I wish she could clean up after herself. Or iron my clothes.”

MY BOY: “I wish we would teach Lucy how to talk so we could finally know what’s going through her crazy little head.”

                          

Being a girl who has been sick for the past few days (and is still fighting off the illness, specifically major pains in my throat), I didn’t prepare for this vlog and completed it in two shoots. Lucy walked INTO my camera during the first one, successfully changing the settings and turning the camera off. You can see it here.

That being said, here’s what I have for you. (And yes, I think my voice sounds a little too sing-songy, too.)

Click here to view the embedded video.

No, I didn’t mention my boy in the vlog. But since he wasn’t at my apartment (and since I was focusing on things IN my apartment), he clearly doesn’t count. Because y’all know I love him. Lots.

It’s a good thing I filmed this when I did because Lucy is now jetting around the apartment, whimpering (she sees friends outside) and barking at me. The soup training didn’t go so well…

                          

I had to leave the following message this morning on the apartment complex office’s answering machine.

“Hey, y’all. It’s E.P. from apartment X. I wanted to let you know that I received the new lease agreement last night when I got home from work. I filled it out with no problems and set it on the table by the door so I could drop it off on my way to work. This morning, I woke up to the sound of ripping paper and scrambled into the den only to realize that Lucy got her paws on the lease. It is partially shredded now, and I figured I should call to see if you can reprint a copy of this for me since you probably don’t want my lease taped together. Sorry about this! Thanks for understanding, and let me know if you have any question.”

It’s like saying ‘My dog ate my homework,’ but it’s true. And I don’t know what they will say/think about that.

Of course this happens to me the one time it’s important (and when I’m no longer in need of it.) Ugh.

                          

As you know, my lovely boy posted for me this weekend while he was hanging out/taking up residence on my couch and I was working.

Upon reading his post and laughing quite a bit at its truthiness (thanks, Stephen Colbert), I wanted to set the record straight about a few things he brought up.

• Yes, I am “relentlessly cold even in the intolerable heat of summer in the South.” But I would rather be cold that hot any day. So if you want to turn the AC down to 65 degrees, I’m down. As long as I have a jacket and/or blanket handy.
• I am electronically impaired. *shrugs* Don’t ask me if I know how to do ANYTHING pertaining to this because I’m helpless. (Case in point: I was not able to watch DVDs on my big TV because my DVD player was hooked up incorrectly. The boy fixed it yesterday.)
• While my Mac isn’t my most prized possession, I do love it. Don’t mess with it.
• Two years ago, some friends and I sticky-noted someone’s car out of sheer boredom after a night of drinking Boone’s Farm. I was dragged into it because I knew our ‘victim’ would think I did it out of spite. And he did. But it was pretty funny hearing about how his car was “ruined.” Pssh.
• While I have had the same ringtone for a while, I have not owned the phone for two years. What my boy doesn’t remember is I got the phone last May. He was my first call. However, I WOULD be confused and would probably deny the phone was mine.
• I have no problem changing the background on my computer. I just really like using Postsecret postcards and pretty pastels…
• Deleting the last digit from random contacts would be awful since I don’t have many numbers memorized. The good thing, my boy? Yours is one of the five I know. You’d be getting a call. Also, has anyone done this? It’d be hilarious/awful.

Now that I have cleared up a few things (since y’all were SO worried), I’m gonna head off and get myself ready for bed. It’s only 11 p.m., and I am already fading…

                          

Hello again, StyHand readers. It’s the one and only “the boy,” reporting live from EP’s Stylish Living Room while she is off working on an assignment for a very high-profile national company. It is also the first time I’ve visited the little lady in her new hometown because I only recently returned from my adventures across the pond. I hope you’ve missed me, because I know I’ve missed all of you.

But to paraphrase an old adage: When EP is away, “the boy” will play. So without further adieu, I proudly present: 7 Ways to Aggravate, Irritate, and Otherwise Fluster(ate) EP!

7. Turn the A/C down to 55 degrees. EP is relentlessly cold even in the intolerable heat of summer in the South (like when we walked out of the restaurant last night), so she is pretty much non-functional in any temperature below 80.

6. Switch the cables that hook up her TV. She already is clueless about working her own DVD player, so I think her head would explode from helplessness if the cable box and TV didn’t work, either.

5. Trade her Mac for a PC. This Mac is probably her most prized possession, and since she has already harshly interrogated me for even thinking about getting another PC instead switching to Mac, I bet she’d boycott the PC (and probably never talk to me again haha).

4. Sticky note her car (yellow Post-Its preferable). She did it to get back at someone once, so I know she would not appreciate the favor being returned.

3. Change her ringtone. EP has been using the same ringtone for well nigh on two years, and she probably has no idea she’s kept it for that long, either. I bet switching the ringtone would make her spontaneously combust from confusion.

2. Change the background on her (this) laptop. See above. Yeah, I know, I don’t get it either.

1. Go throught her phonebook and delete the last digit from random contacts. It would be a pretty asshole thing to do, I admit, but she wouldn’t be able to yell at me because by the time she found out I’d done it, I’d be outta here, with only 9 digits in my entry, heh heh heh.

Well, now that I’ve served up a moderate dose of mischief for your perusal, I think I’ll return to watching Euro 2008 now. Au revoir, until we meet again…

                          

I watched the first disc of the first season of SATC last night. I forgot how much I like it! (And obviously haven’t seen the movie yet, though I really want to!)

I discovered that I do not know how to work the DVD player in my living room with the cable box AND new television. Umm, is anyone mechanical like this and can explain it? Because I’m hopeless.

At the outlets yesterday, I ended up getting a lot of stuff. Three pairs of capris, two pairs of long shorts, one pair of khakis and a shirt! I’m wearing two of the newest pieces of my wardrobe to work today.

I am currently listening to the ‘Europe don’t stand a chance’ playlist I made for the boy before he left for Europe. ‘Come Sail Away’ (Styx!) is playing, and it makes me want to watch the first episode of Freaks and Geeks.

My boy comes home in a week. I cannot wait for him to get here because I miss him!

I really need to finish decorating my room (and folding all the laundry I did during the past week) before anyone comes to my apartment.

I need to stop Facebook stalking certain people, including myself. I spent an hour and a half last night looking at my photos. Seriously? I need to get a life or something.

Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it.

                          

For a person who has never lived alone in her 23 years, living in a 1br/1ba apartment is quite a change. And while I find having all the space to myself wonderful, it does have some downfalls.

I can no longer blame a mess on anyone else. Not that I ever really did this, but I could always fall back on it if worse came to worse. I have to clean my dishes and wipe down countertops. I have to vacuum and dust.

I have no one to talk to (in person) on a regular basis.

I have no one who is willing to kill bugs or fix things I cannot figure out. (See: all things mechanical.)

And if I get scared in the middle of the night, I have to call a friend or co-worker instead of knocking on my roommate’s door so we both can investigate.

When I mentioned this to the photo boys last week, one of them said if I ever was afraid, I could give them a call, and they would promptly call the SWAT team to check it out. (Side note: the SWAT team is called out about twice a year around here, so they’re chomping at the bit AND are probably more likely to shoot than anyone else in law enforcement because of this). After the SWAT team descended onto my apartment, they would come photograph the spectacle.

And that I would open the door to find a chihuahua instead of an intruder, making the call to the SWAT team obsolete.

Thanks, boys, for boosting my confidence.

But so far, everything has been fine. (I live in a good neighborhood, yay!)

I just have to keep myself from watching scary movies so I don’t freak myself out. Especially late at night.

And that is totally do-able.

                          

I am becoming an old person. And by old person, I mean someone who goes to bed every night by 10 p.m. and wakes up EVERY morning by 7:30 a.m. no matter the day. And someone who bought themselves a vacuum cleaner and other grown up-y things like knives and tools and curtains. Le sigh.

I started work Tuesday, and it has been going well. I’m finally settling into the job, and I feel a lot more comfortable with the town. But the hours? They have been kicking my butt because I have not worked hours like these since I was photo editor at the student paper. That year, I spent most of my time at the office running on Coca Colas and cappuccinos alone. Yeah. So this working 9 to 5 and sometimes later gig has thrown me off a little, but I have a feeling I won’t be as sleepy next week.

The good/weird thing about the hours? I inevitably fall asleep around 10 every night. (Which is maybe a good thing since I don’t have any friends here yet. Maybe?)

Working mostly outside in the heat is another thing that has been different.

All the photogs here carry ice chests in their cars because you never know when you are going to be outside for an extended period of time. You never know when there is going to be a police standoff or you spend a day at the military base outside of town. And if you’re caught without water, you regret every moment that you simply THOUGHT about getting a cooler but didn’t act on it. … I’m going to get one of those today because I don’t like heat stroke or the thought of it.

And speaking of heat stroke, I need to prepare for the weather that is inevitably coming! It’s balmy right now compared to what it’s going to feel like in July and August, so I need to get some new clothes. I’m thinking light capris or linen pants and LOTS of cotton shirts. Because all the clothes I have right now? Too dressy or not dressy enough. And whenever you wear dressy clothes outside and sweat in them, you feel ten times worse than you would if you were more casual. Why is that?

So this week has been a GOOD learning experience for me, and I have a better idea of what to expect. And I have had a lot of fun pal-ing around with some of the photogs — they have all been wonderful and encouraging. I am convinced as I settle in more, it will only get better.

My goals for this weekend are as follows:

• Buy a cooler for my car and fill it with watery goodness.
• Fold ALL the laundry I washed and dried this week.
• Buy some new capris and shirts. Maybe go to the coast for this? (Note: The coast is an hour from my house. Awesome, no?)
• Go check out the older dogs at the animal shelter here. (I don’t know if it’s time for me to get one — I’d like my boy to go with me, but I want to get an idea of what they have.)
• Make at least ONE social arrangement for the weekend. (We’ll see how this goes — I have only met people from work. My neighbors are basically nonexistant.)
• Find people to pawn off the cookies I baked last night on so I don’t eat them all myself.
• Paint.
• Buy some puppy things so whenever I do get my dog, I am prepared.

Yeah. So it looks like a pretty full weekend, and I’m excited about checking a few things off my list. While I don’t know if I can complete everything on it, I’m going to do my best to get as much done as possible. Because crossings items off lists (and that strange sense of accomplishment after you do it) is one of my fave things ever.

How has your week been, freaders?