Today was long. L-O-N-G. And really emotional.

Two teenagers from this area lost their lives in an accident this past weekend, and I spent my entire day documenting friends and family saying their goodbyes.

Funerals have always made me sad, even as a child. I feel awkward in my own skin, and I am at a loss for words.

I feel even more uncomfortable when I have two cameras strapped to my body at a funeral. Double the awkwardness. Add vicious states from guests and whispers behind my back about how I are so disrespectful for being there, and you’ve got the typical reception I get at a funeral.

I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want someone documenting my loss, either. But this is a part of my job, no matter how tough or uncomfortable it is, and I try to be as respectful and silent as possible whenever I cover a funeral. I’m not the kind of girl who will shove a wideangle in your face as you mourn. That’s just not my style, and I feel that is disrespectful.

We only attend funerals when the families are OK with us being there, but they are still so challenging.

While I received some of these glares and whispers, I was welcomed with open arms by one family. They told us stories about their son. They were happy we were there with them, and they were truly celebrating his life.

I know they were sad beyond belief, but it touched me that they went out of their way to make us feel comfortable. That doesn’t happen often, and it was a lovely surprise this morning.

I told my coworker as we drove to the funeral this morning that I hated covering funerals. I hate intruding on someone’s final goodbye, even if they approve of me being there. I hate being obligated (by work) to document their pain. And I hate how people make me feel about myself at them as they talk about me.

Today wasn’t an easy day, but I take solace in the fact that one family opened their arms and hearts to us. And for now, that is more than enough to erase the whispers, stares and dislike while I join everyone else in mourning the loss of two boys who had so much ahead of them in life.

                          

Lucy Belle came home for about 15 minutes last night before I had to take her back to the vet because of more stomach issues. They’re keeping an eye on her for the weekend so they can figure out what’s ailing her. The good thing is that she doesn’t appear to be in pain — she was literally jumping around the apartment when I brought her home. Hopefully, she’ll be better by Monday.

After dealing with the whole puppy debacle, I had to go back to work for a late assignment. I already felt bad — partially due to a stuffy nose/ears and also because of my pup — but it got worse as I completed the assignment.

By the time I got home, I was pretty miserable. I promptly took a shower and crawled into bed. But instead of sleeping, I stayed up half the night breathing through my mouth (yuck) and hacking. (It’s probably a good thing Lucy Belle wasn’t home — I was not any fun.)

Somewhere around 3 or 4 this morning, I passed out.

My mother woke me up around 7 a.m. with a phone call. The first words out of her mouth were, “Oh, wow. You sound even more miserable than you did last night.”

It was the truth.

She convinced me to go to the doctor, and once I was looked over, the doc came to the conclusion that I have a cold. Before leaving, he gave me the order that I cannot work the weekend so I can catch up on sleep and hopefully give my horribly weak immune system some time to mend itself.

After filling my prescriptions and getting my boss to come in to work for me, I headed back to my apartment.

Since then, I’ve been catching up on my Reader (finally!), watching movies (so far, I’ve watched The Family Stone and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) and drinking soup. Lots and lots of soup.

I’ve taken up residence on the couch, and I’ll be here for the rest of the day and all day tomorrow.

I have a question for y’all.

When you’re sick, what do you like to do? Do you always watch a certain movie or drink a certain soup/concoction or read a certain book? If you have recommendations, I would love to hear them because I honestly don’t remember the last time I was sick like this.

                          

There shall be none of the potential excitement this weekend that I mentioned earlier unless you consider cleaning my ENTIRE apartment exciting. (Just kidding. Kinda.)

I went to the local animal shelter this morning to check out a pup I found online. Her photo was precious, and I got really excited about finally finding my potential dog. And while she was the perfect size and SO cute, she took NO interest in me when I offered my hand to her and tried to pet her. In fact, she scooted away from me like I was bothering her.

I should have known better to get all excited about this. I knew this letdown was coming.

And now? I’m incredibly disappointed that it didn’t work out even though I know this is for the best.

Who wants an aloof dog that doesn’t even want their owner to pet them? Exactly.

In light of this, I have a new resolution:I will NO LONGER find dogs on Petfinder. I will not read up about said dogs and their breed mixes. Because when I find my dog in the shelter, I believe I will know. More than anything, I don’t want to get all excited again just to be let down from another pup that has a cute photo.

You can all hold me to this. Seriously.

And now, I’m going to spend the rest of my day cleaning my apartment (hello, OCD), washing laundry, paying bills and possibly grocery shopping if I have any money left over from the bills.

Woohoo, Saturday!

                          

Well, that was anticlimactic. I’m glad I devoted time to write about it this afternoon. *cough*

The silver lining?
One of the kids on Tennessee’s team who played really well went to my high school.

Do I know him?
No, but it makes me feel a little better that he got to be a big deal.

I’m still proud of the Tigers. Not everybody gets to be No. 1. But they have to work on their freethrows before the tournament. As my father used to say when he coached my church league team, every one counts. And the backboard is your friend.

That’s all I have. No more posts about sporting events because I apparently jinx them.