I know, I know. It’s been a long few weeks, and I have been sparse around these parts.

I’m a busy girl, OK? Between work, planning a wedding, trying to exercise and get into shape to fit into my wedding dress THIS WEEKEND (because I’m picking it up from the bridal boutique, not because I’m getting married this weekend), and just trying to relax, it’s been, umm, crazy.

What exactly have I been doing?

Well, let me tell you. In detail. Because you want to know, right? (If not, skip the bullet points…)

In the past few weeks, I have…

• Told my mother about my blog. Everyone say hi!
• Finished designing, purchased, addressed and sent ALL my save the dates
• Been training TWO newbies at work (even though one left today…)
• Taken numerous assignments for the newspaper
• Tried to exercise once a day, thanks to my YMCA membership and my pup, who needs as much exercise as I can possibly give her since she has SO MUCH ENERGY.
• Solidified numerous loose-ends pertaining to my wedding
• Been reading. (Hooray for a new Sookie book at the beginning of May and for re-reading everything before S3 of True Blood.)
• Started and kept up the Slim Fast diet. You know, the whole 3 snacks, 2 shakes and 1 meal formula they advertise. And I actually really enjoy it because the Slim Fast shakes totally satisfy my sweet tooth!
• Slept and actually feel rested.

It’s been a crazy, but good few weeks in my life. And while things will continue to be intense for a while now, I have some really exciting things and events coming up that I cannot wait for. Like getting my wedding gown. And seeing my boy again for the first time since he left Nashville more than a month ago. And an engagement party in my boy’s home town. And more!

What have y’all been up to? What have I missed?

                          

Six months until I get married!

Two to three weeks until I see my boy again. (Major sad face. This is totally up in the air because he doesn’t know what his schedule is just yet.)

One week until my mother comes to Nashville for (part of) Memorial Day weekend.

Two days until I meet up with some amazing girls in Indianapolis! Hooray!

One day until my work week ends!

…

What are you counting down to tonight?

                          

Apparently, this is going to become a bi-monthly thing since I seem to forget every other month that I should check in with these. Yeah. Oops. Things get kind of hectic around here, you know?

It’s been four months since I wrote down my resolutions for the year, and it’s time for an update. And another reality check. (Though this one is definitely less harsh.)

Be all here.
This resolution is getting easier by the day. Literally. I live in a fantastic city, am surrounded by fantastic people and am enjoying mostly every moment I have here. A change in scenery really does the difference for this resolution, and I am happy with where I am and what I am doing. My office moved into the heart of downtown Nashville, and I have been enjoying exploring the city with co-workers on our lunch breaks. (I’ve also found some AWESOME restaurants in the downtown area, yum.)

Resolution status? WIN!

Be active.
This one is getting better. I joined the YMCA by my home a few weeks ago, and it has been closed for the past two weeks because the entire downstairs flooded during the Nashville floods. Sad face. So while they’re getting back up and running, Lucy and I have been taking walks — LONG walks — during the early morning hours before I go to work. I love starting the day with exercise, even if it takes me some time to drag myself out of bed.

Resolution status? Getting there.

Along the same lines, be choosy about what I eat.
For the most part, I pay attention to what I eat, and I do my best to make smart decisions about this. Unfortunately, I backslid last weekend when we were in Pennsylvania. I have some ground to make up on this one. And my pants will thank me when I’ve made it up.

Resolution status? Getting there.

Volunteer.
Still working on this one…

Compete.
Not happening… yet. I have a dream to run in SOME kind of race this year, and I WILL. Luckily, I had a new friend who runs marathons and recommended a fantastic running book for me. Now, I’ve just got to get moving and maybe find a group to run with so they can hold me accountable. And not laugh at how slow I am.

Resolution status? It WILL happen.

Write more.
I’m making this one happen on StyHand, but I also want to write more for myself. I have a journal that is completely empty and purchased in Florence that NEEDS writing inside it, and I need to get my act together with that one. I have never been good at journaling, though I have stints where I write for a few months daily then drop it for about a year. Kind of frustrating, really, and I need to work on it.

Resolution status? Halfway complete and needing a LOT of work.

Stand on my own two feet, financially, with freelance photography.
I’m working on this, but realistically, I know this resolution is NOT going to come true this year, despite me wanting it to be. I don’t get tossed freelance offers nearly enough to make this happen this year, and that’s OK. It WILL happen sometime in the near future, and I am excited to be a full-time photographer again, even though I enjoy what I’m doing now.

Resolution status? Not happening. BUT I am getting more freelance work as the months pass. (So that’s a good sign!)

Be brave.
This is going well. I’m doing a LOT of things I normally wouldn’t feel comfortable with. This includes going placed I normally wouldn’t on freelance assignments, preparing a whole chicken, baking it and not giving up or throwing it out because the skin feels so creepy, and standing up to an obnoxious wedding vendor who kept e-mailing and saying, “No, we didn’t want to use your service because of XYZ.” And, while a lot of it still freaks me out, I’m seeing the benefits being brave has on me.

Resolution update? Getting there.

…

I still have a ways to go on some of these resolutions, but I’m pretty proud I have made it this far and not completely dropped all of them. (Because I’ve definitely done that in previous years… oops.)

How are your resolutions looking right now?

                          

When I picked up my first camera in the fall of 2004, I just knew that was what I was supposed to be doing.

Ever since then, I’ve been chasing that dream of being a full-time, professional photographer.

I started work at the student newspaper as a staff photographer, and I loved it. I was challenged on most assignments, and I was getting a different perspective than the fine art photography I had come to adore.

At times, it’s seemed out of reach. Like my junior year when two pompous grad students told me I didn’t have the chops to be a photographer. I struggled and struggled because of their harsh critique, convincing myself to take a step away from people — my passion — and focusing more on natural beauty. I struggled with inspiration for the rest of the semester, and my final project was just OK because my heart wasn’t in it.

The following summer, I spent time in Italy. And I fell in love with photography all over again. I hesitantly embarked on a portrait project, and it spread like wildfire. Inspiration caught, and I was an artist again. I was connecting with people through my lens again. And, most importantly, I wasn’t dreading picking up my old Yashica twin lens anymore.

{One of the pieces from my “On the Radio” project that was completed in Italy.}

When I got back to the States, I continued work at the paper. I started freelancing for anyone and everyone I could, including a few local magazines. I tried to take another fine art photo lab, but my supplies didn’t arrive in time, and I had to drop the class.

I continued plugging away with my photo work up until I graduated in 2008. And then, I went to work for a paper, something I thought was my dream.

I left a year and a half later, bitterly disappointed.

I had some amazing experiences there and made some beautiful images, but more often than not, my creativity and spirits were squashed because of a certain someone not pulling his weight and someone who didn’t believe in “creative photos.” I didn’t have time to pursue any personal projects because I felt I was always running around.

I came to the realization this past fall that I wasn’t living my life: I was merely biding my time. And when circumstances took a turn for the worse, I put my foot down, packed up all my stuff and moved to a new town without a job in sight.

And that simple act made all the difference.

In January, I started working a job that has NOTHING to do with photography. It’s refreshing, and the work environment is top-notch.

I oftentimes find myself daydreaming about projects I want to embark on whenever I have a spare moment. Like documenting a couple battling infertility. Or a teenage girl overcoming an eating disorder. Or a farmer working on his crops and documenting the process he takes from the seeds to the harvesting. I think these would all be fascinating in their own regard, and I really look forward to having the time to start exploring these topics with my camera in hand.

I miss what I did at the newspaper. I miss running out in the newsroom after hearing the all-call sound over the scanner. I miss spending a day or two documenting a hard-hitting story with a reporter. I even miss people approaching me in the grocery store and saying they saw me on assignment earlier.

However, there are some things I don’t miss. And the things I do? I am beginning to build for myself here without the negatives.

This past weekend, I took my first assignment for a local newspaper and then I helped another photographer shoot a wedding.

I fell in love with photography all over again. I fell in love with the impact you make on someone’s life after having spent your day documenting hers — her wedding day. I fell in love with chatting about a person’s craft and snapping photos as they explain. And I fell in love with holding a camera in my hands again for an entire day without a break.

I dream of the day where I can spend all my time and energy on photography again, but this time, be my own boss, be in control of my own destiny and be able to focus on the projects I find important to share.

This is my passion: documenting and sharing stories.

And, while it’s taken me a while to get to this point, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I know the direction I’m headed is the right one for me. And I cannot wait to see where it leads me.

                          

Did y’all know I used to play basketball?

I’m not talking about the ‘I played when I was really little at my church then watched a lot of games’ basketball players. I’m talking about ‘I started playing at a young age and ended up on the varsity team in high school.’

I don’t mean to brag because it’s really not impressive, especially since I was the third string and quit during my junior year because the coach wouldn’t play me at all. (There was a lot more to it than that, but we won’t go there today.)

But there are stories from my time on the varsity squad, and I’m going to share one with y’all today.

The boy and I were watching a game this past week, and I noticed one of the players went to high school with me. Granted, he was a LOT younger than me, but we were there at the same time, and my sister knew him relatively well.

He drew an incredible foul.

The player he was guarding drove hard to the basket, smacking J.P. in the face with his elbow. J.P. hit the ground.

It was ridiculous.

No, really. Look at the photo here. (And excuse the magenta-ness. It makes my eyes hurt a little.)

…

We were kind of specialists at drawing offensive fouls at my high school.

You see, the varsity teams were run by coaches with similar views on this, and we practiced drawing fouls on a weekly basis to capitalize on them during games.

The assistant coach, a tall woman who played basketball at a major SEC school, would run at you holding a HUGE football pad, smack into you and you had to hit the ground rigid, drawing the foul.

It was terrifying, to say the least.

I’m not a big girl, to begin with, and I was at least six inches shorter than our coach. (I was also about six inches shorter than the other post players, and I was frequently used as a rag doll beneath the basket during practice.)

And, needless to say, I hit the ground hard every time. Probably due more to the force of the hit than that of my own doing. But I was able to draw the foul.

The guys did the same thing in their practice. And both teams would draw at least ten offensive fouls every game.

Because we were good like that.

…

I hadn’t thought about this in years until I saw J.P. take that hit on national television. And then I was transported back, explaining the way we practiced to my boy and reminiscing about being a member of that team.

All in all, I had a good time, and I miss certain aspects of being a member of that team.

One thing I don’t miss, though? Taking offensive fouls, in practice or the game.

                          

(Obviously, I didn’t write an update for February, but I want to do this every month. You know, to keep myself on track.)

It’s been two months since I wrote down my resolutions for the year, and it’s time for an update. And a reality check.

Be all here.
I’ve actually been pretty successful with this one so far. I’ve been enjoying my time here in Nashville, and I cannot believe I’ve been here for three months! Not only have I been spending a lot of time with my fiance and our mutual friends, but I’ve gone out with old and new friends, too. And had one hell of a girls’ night last weekend.

Be active.
Major fail. Due to inclement weather and laziness, I’ve had a tough time with this resolution. Add that with a new schedule (due to a full-time job with real people hours), I haven’t been getting the exercise I need. And my pants aren’t fitting at all, which makes me really, really sad.

Along the same lines, be choosy about what I eat.
I’m definitely paying more attention to what I eat, and it looks like I will be participating in a CSA this summer, too! I seriously cannot wait for all the fresh fruit and veggie goodness. And I need to learn some new recipes to keep things varied in the kitchen.

Volunteer.
Still working on this one…

Compete.
Not happening… yet. I hope when the weather gets nicer, I can start training for a race sometime this summer in Nashville or a surrounding town.

Write more.
Working on this one, too. I’ve had LOTS of ideas of things to write, but I haven’t had the chance. I’m trying to block off a few hours every weekend to write — for myself, for my blogs and for freelance stuff. Because writing makes me happy. And because, apparently, y’all wish I would write more.

Stand on my own two feet, financially, with freelance photography.
Obviously, this is a MAJOR reach goal for the year. I’m working on revamping my photo Web site and that blog, and I hope to start advertising on some wedding blogs, as well as creating relationships with some of the magazines here in town. Oh, you need a photographer? Let’s talk!

Be brave.
I’ve never been a brave kind of person, but I’m getting better. I try to put myself out of my comfort zone for this purpose: I want to be braver. And I will be.

…

Obviously, I’ve got a ways to go before completing all of these goals, but I have good start (on some.) And hopefully, I’ll get better with the ones I have been struggling with. Especially since I plan to post about this every month, and I’d rather not embarrass myself by revealing, time and time again, that I’m a bum…

How are your resolutions looking right now?

                          

I knew it was bound to happen someday, but I didn’t expect it this weekend.

The boy, Lucy and I headed to a local park yesterday morning to get in some exercise. We’ve always adored said park because it isn’t ever crowded and there is a long walking trail that snakes through the grassy area.

When we arrived around 11 a.m., there was a notable change in the park. There were dozens of people, and each one had at least one small child in tow. Young couples were walking their dogs and pushing strollers at the same time. And children — dozens of children — were swinging, sliding, playing hide and seek on the playground equipment next to the walking path. Some kids and their parents were more adventurous and were exploring the creek bed that runs through the park, and we had a good laugh because when I was a kid, there was a creek near my house, and I was there ALL THE TIME. Catching frogs and minnows and other living creatures that were cool back then.

We made our way through the busiest part of the park easily, and we all took a deep breath when we reached the wide open space. Because we’d never seen the park that busy before. And because Lucy was incredibly wary of the hoard of children. (We think the sights and sounds were too much for her. But every time she has spent one-on-one time with a young child, she has been a calm, not-neurotic champion.)

As we walked, we talked about this and that. What our Fridays were like, what we wanted to do for lunch, how spring cleaning was going, and finally, children. Not about having kids, but kids in general — what we liked to do as kids and who we know is starting a family soon.

For whatever reason, seeing all those little kids together and walking with my pup and fiancé made my biological clock audible. And, before this point, I’d never heard it.

Sure, I’ve always known I wanted to have children when I “grew up,” but after spending four summers as a camp counselor, I was sure of two things. First off, I wanted to be prepared — married and settled down and ready to take on the responsibility. And secondly? I didn’t want to have a litter. (Because keeping track of EIGHT children the same age from your cabin is fun for a week or two, but I cannot imagine that in real life. So whoever does that drew a tough hand, but is a saint in my eyes. Because that is INTENSE.)

Yeah.

So, for the first time ever, I could hear my biological clock ticking. And, while it excites me for the far-off future, it’s a little overwhelming right now because, honestly, I never thought this day would come. And because we are not ready to be responsible for anyone more than ourselves and Lucy.

And, after having spoken to some friends about this last night, I’ve been told it will only get worse as time passes.

Which is fantastic. And something I totally don’t need to add to my crazy just yet — bride brain is more than enough, thankyouverymuch.

…

What about you, friends? Has your biological clock made itself obvious in your life? And, if so, does it get better or worse?

And, for any guys reading, do you think we’re all a little crazy now?

                          

Last week, I received potentially bad news about my car, Felicity. The kind of potential bad news where you decide not to drive anymore because you could end up stranded on the side of the road or worse.

And since I have driven Felicity for almost seven years, I did what any grown woman would do faced with a similar quandry.

I cried.

A lot.

Friday, the boy and I put on our thinking caps. We knew that we were eventually going to have to get me a new car, but it appeared the time was coming sooner than either of us expected. BUT IT WAS OK. We would work through it. And we would be OK — more than OK.

(Those last four lines? That was what the boy kept saying OVER AND OVER again. Because I might still have been hysterical about Felicity.)

We decided to go car shopping Saturday afternoon before law school prom. (It’s a real thing, I promise. And I totally wore and rocked a gown I had taken in three years ago because it was too big!) After spending time at two dealerships, we decided to take home one of the cars to test for the evening. Because, apparently, dealerships let you do that kind of thing now.

And it was a good thing we did.

I noticed there was a strange reflection of the dashboard on the windshield, and it was distracting me. The longer I drove, the more I realized I felt like I was wearing the wrong prescription. Or wearing beer goggles. … It was bad. And I felt kind of dizzy when I arrived at home shortly after.

So we took the car back in the morning, disappointed but realistic. We weren’t going to purchase a car that made me sick.

Then I did what any logical girl in my situation would do on a lazy Sunday: I gave up. (Potentially bad family news also took a toll on me that day, as well.) The boy dropped me off at home, headed to another dealership for them to take a look at Felicity, and to figure out what else we could do.

He’s a smart guy, you know.

We had a long discussion Sunday night about what we were looking for, what we could afford, what I specifically wanted in a new car (which is nothing, really, because everything in new cars right now is SO MUCH BETTER than anything I’ve ever had in a vehicle. I mean, I had a tape deck until 2005…) And we came up with a gameplan for Monday.

We went to look at another dealership after the boy picked me up from work. We liked what we saw, but we weren’t sure if we liked it more than another car we had driven Saturday.

So what did my boy do? He called the other dealership to see if they had a better offer.

If there were any doubts in my mind about what he was supposed to do when he grows up, they were assuaged at this moment. He’s definitely a future lawyer. (As if I didn’t know that already by playing Monopoly with him and his family… Geesh.)

We deliberated some more. We talked with the sales reps. We decided to run out for a quick dinner and sitting at a tiny, empty Mexican restaurant, we made our decision.

And we took home a new car last night after spending time filling out the necessary paperwork.

…

I’m thrilled to have a new car. Not necessarily because it’s new, but more so because my boy has been waking up early so he can drive me to work every morning. And I work across town, about 14 miles from the house to my office ONE WAY. And because the public transportation in this town is not up to par.

I’m thrilled because this is our first REAL big purchase together as a couple. Both of our names are on the lease. And this has made marriage and all the things we will do together in the future seem even more real than it was before.

And I’m thrilled because this means we can take our lives off hold and start living them again to the fullest. You don’t realize everything you want to do until you don’t have the means to do it. Or to get there, in my case.

This car situation has made me more cognizant of how we work together, as well as how we compromise. And I think it has made us both realize how lucky we are to have each other. Because I honestly don’t know what I would have done if this happened in my small town a few months ago.

I have the hope that one day, we will be a one-car family again. By choice. But for now, we can’t make that work. It isn’t possible in this city, where we live, where we work and where we play. Someday, though? I can see it happening.

If nothing else, I think we learned a lot about each other through this experience. And that almost makes the heartache, deliberations and overall headache worth it.

Almost.

                          

As some of y’all know, I started a new job yesterday. And it’s going well, despite the fact that it has NOTHING to do with photography or journalism.

I’m super excited to get into the nitty gritty when I am done training, but I need y’alls help. In a HUGE way.

You see… my wardrobe is one of a photographer who had to be mobile in all kinds of weather conditions throughout the entire year. My clothes are functional, not necessarily stylish or cute. Because, hello! Standing outside in the Mississippi summer heat in something cute? Is miserable.

So, I have a proposition.

Recommend some cute work clothes for me. Nothing too casual, but nothing too fancy. Anything that looks like it could be functional in an office setting. And anything you think fits my personality.

… I need some major help with my personal style, and I know I can count on y’all for some killer suggestions.

Also, while you’re at it, recommend some of your favorite music! Because I can listen to my iPod while working, and I need some new tunes to get me through the work day.

OK… go!

                          

I had no idea what was in store for me when I drove back to Memphis on Thursday afternoon. I knew we were going wedding gown shopping, I knew we were going to look at bridesmaid gowns, I knew we were probably going to book the reception site, but I had NO IDEA just how much we would knock off this to-do list.

1. I went shopping with my mother at a bridal shop in Arkansas. We found and purchased my GOWN! (I’m still so surprised and oh-so-squeal-y about this that I’m sure it will get obnoxious quickly. But seriously? YAY! I have my dress!)
2. I made a decision on the church AND reception site! I called the minister who I would love to be our officiant. And we met with the executive chef who has some fantastic ideas for the evening! (And we can have kegs! AH! Because we’re totally classy.)
3. Along the same lines, we OFFICIALLY have a date.
4. My mother, sister and I made fast work of many bridal stores in Memphis. We learned that a certain, nationwide chain’s bridesmaid gowns aren’t so nice. We discovered that another chain’s gowns were more lovely in person. And we narrowed down the style we want. And pretty much figured out colors, too.
5. Last night, we started discussing music for the ceremony. Since I’ve played in many, many weddings, I’ve scrapped a lot of the traditional favorite pieces and am digging into my musical repertoire to find different songs, especially to walk down the aisle.
6. I’ve been asked to be a Bloggette! And my first post is officially up on the site!

This weekend? Has been so freaking productive it’s almost unbelievable. And I hope things continue to move forward smoothly.

This wedding planning process, while it has already made me cry a few times, WILL be an adventure, and I am so excited about everything pertaining to it.

Nine months to go, lovelies, and I cannot wait for October 30!