Stylish Handwriting

A tale of two fires

by E.P. on December 20, 2009

A week ago, I moved away from my little Mississippi town and into a fancy schmancy condo in a booming Tennessee metropolis.

While I may have been a bit snippy while (re)organizing the kitchen, things at the new place are finally coming together, thanks to the boy and my mother.

I couldn’t be happier that I am finally where I need to be and that things are somewhat coming together.

My boy finished his exams last Wednesday, and I wanted to fix him a nice final dinner of the semester Tuesday night. The dinner, itself, was delicious. The preparations leading up to the meal? A minor disaster.

I don’t know what happened, but something fell beneath the burner of the smashed potato pan, and, umm, the entire thing basically caught on fire. Like, flames were coming out of the burner. We quickly moved the pot (and the potatoes weren’t scalded, thank goodness!), but it took a while for the flames to go down. And all our fire alarms were going off.

Luckily, the dinner was tasty, and we chose to put the potential kitchen fire behind us, never to speak of it again. (Or so we thought.)

On Friday, we came back to my hometown, and things have been going splendidly here. The boy has left for his home, and I’m spending time here until after Christmas. My mother and I have shopped ’till our hearts content.

And firewood was delivered to our house yesterday afternoon.

(I know y’all can see where this is going.)

Today, I was deadset on having a fire in our fireplace. Something to warm up the chilly family room on a cold winter night. Something to make us both smile after a long day of shopping. Something that would feel Christmas-y.

My mother and I tinkered with the flue and came to the conclusion that it had been open ever since we bought this house. (Hint: We were wrong.) I carried in a few pieces of firewood, tossed in some crinkled up newspapers and lit the fire.

And smoke immediately started pouring out of the fireplace into the house. And since it’s a two-sided fireplace, smoke was pouring into two different rooms.

Both smoke alarms were screaming by the time I could get the smoke under control. All the fans were turned on to high-speed and the doors were opened. And my mascara is still blotched because of my eyes watering as the house was filled with smog.

The house cleared out in about thirty minutes, and when we spoke to my sister, my mother revealed that I almost burned down her house.

Correction: I almost smoke damaged the front portion of the house. Nothing was in danger of actually being burned.

The good news? We figured out the flue, and there is now a roaring fire in the fireplace without our home being filled with soot.

The bad news? The entire home still smells faintly like a fire. (And probably will for the next few days.)

…

So, between this and the semi-kitchen fire this past week, my boy came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t be allowed around any more open flames this holiday season. Something (else) bad could happen.

Agreed.

What is one of the craziest things that has happened to you during the holidays this year?

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  • Fire was my hand's down biggest fear as a kid. I'm okay with it now, but I'd still be freaking out!

    The power went out in my hometown and a tree fell on the lane to my house, blocking our way. We ended up bunking at my grandmother's house down the road, playing Taboo by candlelight until the early morning hours. It was fun and definitely memorable.
  • Fire was a huge fear of mine when I was a kid, too! It was awful and still kind of freaks me out.

    That sounds fun and memorable, even though the reason y'all ended up at your grandmother's house was because the power went out and the tree fell in front of your house.
  • It wasn't during the holidays, but I tend to start fires in the kitchen as well. I was trying to make taco soup for the boy when I turned the burner on under the soup pot but didn't put anything in it right away. When I poured olive oil into the pot a few minutes later, it lit straight on fire, sending flames shooting about 2.5 feet into the air. I called to the boy, who was in the living room napping on the couch, several times, and he finally woke up and stopped me just in time to keep me from pouring water on the fire, which (apparently) would have made the whole thing even worse. The soup was delicious, but I damn near burned the kitchen down in the process.
  • It's a comfort for me to know that this has happened to you, too. Somehow, it makes me feel like less of a klutz in the kitchen because I know we can both cook. Which means we just made a mistake when we caught whatever on fire. ... Right?

    Also? I'm glad he stopped you. That could have been a disaster. Literally.
  • Crazy! I once tried to help someone jump their car - sparks flew but we averted a fire.
  • Oh no! That sounds awful, but I'm so glad you didn't have a fire.

    That could have been really bad. (Duh.)
  • Nora_L
    We used to have a terrible time with our Christmas trees, namely the real ones. They were known to fall over in the middle of the night dumping water and breaking ornaments every where. Or perhaps just leaking water out of the tray and into the basement and right onto my dad's computer. Or being incredibly crooked so we had to BOLSTER it to the wall. After several years of troubled trees we decided fake was better. And it is! Though we miss the pine-y smell, we have a lovely tree that doesn't fall, leak or lean =)
  • Oh my goodness! That is AWFUL! I cannot even imagine having to deal with that.

    Why must some things be so tricky?
  • This reminds me of the Christmas somebody set my hair on fire. I was in third grade and I still haven't totally recovered. Trauma!
  • Wait, wait.

    SOMEONE SET YOUR HAIR ON FIRE?

    Yikes.
  • I have never really set anything on fire, but B believes otherwise because the smoke alarm just happens to go off while I am doing things. That doesn't mean there is a fire, right?
  • Haha. That doesn't mean there is a fire, no way. My fire alarm at the old apartment went off whenever something steamed, which basically meant it screamed at me once a day. So, no, just because the smoke alarm goes off, it doesn't necessarily mean there's a fire. ;)
  • I can totally see myself doing both of those things. In fact, I've definitely lit things on fire on the stove before.
  • I'm glad that I am not the only person who would do this, though I will admit the stove fire was a new thing for me. Not good at all. And I hope neither of us has to deal with one of those any time soon!
  • Boo for fireplaces. I love the real ones but they can be so tricky. I love the smell and feel of a warm, real fire but sometimes, flipping a switch is just as good.
  • You know, I've never flipped a switch for a fire before. That's interesting and kind of intriguing. I might want to check those out for the next time. ;)
  • Oh wow! I've never done that before. Maybe if I had, I finally wouldn't be allowed to cook!
  • It was awful! I'd never done either things before and was SO surprised by them! Seriously.
  • My mother-in-law and I had a flue-isn't-open gaff a couple years ago ... and it killed both of us that we had to run out to get the boys to come fix it. Stupid flue. hahaha.
  • Oh no! That's not good at all! It kind of killed me to admit to my mother what happened. But then again, she figured it out pretty quickly because of the smoke...
  • You're certainly lucky nothing worse happened. Two fires in what, a week? Oh man. I think you'll be golden and fire-free for at least six months now.
  • I know. I really am. ... Is it bad that I have nightmares about accidentally burning something down and my old co-workers (or fellow journalists in my new city) show up to cover it? Yeah. I think that means I've covered one too many fires...
  • ria
    it's the worst when the smoke comes in the house! hope it's smelling lots better now!
  • It really is the worst! We're so lucky nothing worse happened!
  • Oh my gosh, this happened to my mom's house once and it's so scary! For us the top of the chimney was frozen and the smoke just *bellowed* into the house.

    At least you guys didn't need firemen!
  • Oh no! That really is scary! I cannot imagine. I was freaking out, but
    it was a relatively easy fix. I can imagine it's a bit more
    challenging to make a chimney not icy anymore. Wow...
  • Ben
    We've mastered that portion of the fireplace action already but I occasionally close it too early and give the house a serious smoked flavour. Not cool.
  • Yikes. That's not good at all.

    Our house still smells like smoke this morning. I hope whenever you
    close the flue too early, the scent doesn't stick around...
  • LMAO. Instant holiday classic. :P

    (Our fireplace is going to remain unused during your visit, thankyouverymuch.)
  • Haha, right? I've gotten past the mortification and am moving forward
    and am so happy we figured out the flue. For the record, it's at the
    top of the chimney, not the bottom.

    And that's probably a good idea. Or someone else could start it...
  • Boooo for not getting the fire you wanted! I love having a nice fire on a cold winter night.
  • I know! We're lucky we got the fire going later, though. It turned out to be what we wanted after I almost smoke damaged the entire house. ;)

    And a blazing fire on a cold winter's night is the best. Period.
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