Too short…

2009 October 25
by E.P.

I was taking Lucy for a walk when I decided to call my grandmother Tuesday afternoon. I like bringing my cell on our miles-long walks through the new neighborhood because it’s at least an hour to catch up with old friends and family.

I was in for a surprise when my aunt answered the phone.

My grandmother, who had been admitted to the hospital a few days earlier for a virus, had gone into emergency surgery that morning to remove an obstruction from her intestines. It turned out to be a cancerous tumor, and her long-time doctor didn’t think she would wake up from the invasive surgery. She is, after all, 90.

I cried myself to sleep that night, worrying that this was it.

She woke up Wednesday. She’s been awake daily since then and is her old self most of the time. But the cancer has spread, and the doctors have not figured out/told us to where.

I am confident, though, that whenever we find this news, we will bind together and fight together along with my grandmother. If there is anyone who can defeat cancer at her age, it’s her. She’s a tough old lady, a fighter, and she won’t give up easily. Neither will we.

But for now, this waiting is nervewracking, and the entire experience has got me thinking about my own life.

Life is too short.

Life is too short not to keep in touch. Life is too short not to travel to visit friends and family. Life is too short not to say, “I love you.” Life is too short to settle.

Life is too short to be miserable.

Life is too short to NOT do what your heart desires.

And my heart? Desires something different.

I’m mapping out my plan for the next few months, and I am so excited about this impending change. It’s getting me through these long days and nights waiting. It’s getting me through the tough truths I have to face. And it’s pushing me to where I need to be.

William Jam once said, “To change one’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.”

My plan is in motion. I have started the change, though I am still working on the flamboyant part of it. And I am so excited.

So, friends? If you want a change, come on and start this journey with me. Because we all deserve better than what we have right now if we aren’t truly happy.

And life is too short not to be truly happy.

from → family, friends, grown up things, sadness, sickness, truthiness

  • First let me say that your grandmother has been in my prayers since I heard the news. Beyond that, I think you're so, so right. It's so easy to get caught up in what you think you "should" be doing, but then you really have to think- WHY am I doing this? I love that you're changing your plans to do what you want to be doing. It'll make you SO much happier :)
  • shobhna
    Your grandmother is in all our prayers and wishes, I am sure. *hugs* Love and warmth to you and your family.

    And Erin, I wish I had your strength. What you just said, about making a change, listening to my heart for once.. I don't know if I have the strength to do something that risky. I guess. I'm just so afraid of failing, and falling apart.

    Good luck to you! *hugs* I know you'll do it.
  • awww, great post my dear. just so you know i am still thinking about your grandmother and your family and everyone is in my prayers. i'm also so proud of you for beginning this change and putting it in action. i can't wait to here all the stuff you want to do. thanks for being there for me too while i figure out all my changes as well. you're the best!
  • I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I will be sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way. I love that quote and used it to start my own catalyst a few months ago. I hate my current job and it makes me incredibly unhappy. I've been applying for new positions all over the country because its time to stop being afraid of change. I deserve better than what I currently have work wise. I know the long days, tough truths, and am happy that you are embarking on your own change. We can do it!
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'll keep her in my thoughts.
  • I'm so sorry that your family is going through this now, but I love the sentiment here. I totally agree with you- and I can't wait to see how this takes shape in your life.

    Your grandma is in my prayers <3
  • You and your grandma are in my prayers!

    Your attitude is so refreshing, and exactly what I needed to hear on a day when I am a hormone-induced basket-case. Come and visit me!
  • Totally agree with your entire philosophy here. Well said, lady. And I am of course thinking of you and your family and hoping all is well.
  • I know EXACTLY what you mean here, on every front.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma's health, but am glad she is fighting and has such a great granddaughter to help wage war. :)

    I lost my grandpa to cancer last year, after an awe-inspiring battle... All I can say is stay strong and hopeful, and keep expectations out of the mix.

    I'm so excited for the changes you're making and I'm right there with you. Let's do this!
  • I actually just LITERALLY squealed out loud. YES YES YES YES. You know how much I love and support this. LOVE.

    LOOOOOVE.

    Life is too short for me not to see you again soon.

    I'm hoping to be in the HSV area in/around the holidays. Let's make sure we intercept SOMEHOW between MS, TN, and AL before the end of the year.

    LOVE.

    And I will absolutely keep you, your family, and your OMG 90?! year old grandmother in my heart.
  • thinking about you and your family. i went through this last month with my grandma, it's tough but having the family fight together - well, there's not much better than that. hugs!
  • Aww honey I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs. Keep me posted if I can do anything or if you need to talk anytime
  • So true, and so thought provoking. Wishing you luck.
  • YOU, of all people, deserve to be happy. I can't wait to hear about impending plans of yours!
  • ria
    i'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother, you and your family are in my thoughts. life is definitely too short to not be doing what you want/need to do.
  • im so sorry to hear about your grandmother. ill be keeping her and you and your fam in my thoughts.
    kudos for making change!
  • Nora_L
    You know what I love? That you took something that is certainly devastating and managed to turn it into a topic of love, hope and desire to be different. That makes me happy. I am thinking many positive thoughts for a speedy recovery for your Gram and that you & the family can remain strong. Sending you much love, hugs and prayers.

    Also, I can't wait to hear more about these plans =)
  • I absolutely love your inspiration for change. Can't wait to see what's around the corner for you!
  • Thanks so much, lady. I cannot wait for it and all the new, exciting
    things it will bring about.

    Something about the tough times always gets me thinking about my own
    life and struggles. I am so glad, that despite this horrible news,
    that it has pushed me to do something that is a long time coming.
  • This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you, love. :)
  • You're very welcome. (:
  • kimwithak
    I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. That's such scary news. But this was a great post and I'm sure she'll have more than a fighting chance with a granddaughter like you by her side.
  • Aww, thanks. It's really scary news, but our little family is going to
    bind together for this fight. And I cannot wait to see her to give her
    a hug.
  • AMinDinMoTown
    Both of my grandparents have had and fought cancer in my lifetime, and they're both still crazy old people in their house in Scranton. I truly hope for the same (maybe not the crazy part, hehe) for your grandmother. All my best hun.

    And if you aren't happy, you do need to take the right steps toward changing that. What you've said is so very true and hopefully, maybe, you helped another person see that living another day unhappy isn't worth it.
  • Thanks, lady. This is going to be a tough battle, but if anyone can
    win, I know she can. I've had two grandparents who had cancer before
    this, and they both lost their battle. So I how my grandmother is like
    your grandparents. (:

    I hope it's helped someone else start making a change for themselves.
    I've been feeling stir-crazy and unhappy in this current situation,
    and I seriously cannot wait for it to be time.
  • Sorry to hear about your grandmother. You are 100% right about life being too short to be unhappy. Lately I've been feeling very much in a rut. Your post got me thinking about how I might be able to change that.
  • I hope you start making a change to get out of that rut. It's tough
    with her being sick, but at the same time, I'm thankful that it has
    pushed me into making a change for myself. Because I've needed one for
    a LONG time.
  • I completely agree with you, life is definitely too short!!!!
  • It's so true. I'm glad you agree!
  • I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother, I'll be thinking about you and your family.
  • My thoughts are with you and your grandma. This was a lovely post, it definately lifted my spirits!
  • I've been there. Colon cancer is what my mom had last year. That's right, had in past tense, because she beat it. It's apparently one of the most treatable kinds of cancer if they catch it early. Use this time to bond together with your family. Stay strong and fight this thing.
    I love that you're using this to change your life for the better!
  • Definitely thinking about your family and Grandmother especially. I wish nothing but for the best and that she continues to be her old self. I believe that by thinking positive and fighting does really help in the process!
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