When I was a wee blogger…

This post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers! More information can be found here.

Senior year of high school, I started blogging with a Deadjournal. After I graduated, I quit that blog and then started a Livejournal freshman year. I did the same again sophomore year (though I kept the LJ.) And then my (second) senior year, I started writing at Stylish Handwriting.

While I realize it’s probably not kosher to post from every one of these blogs, I had a fantastic time reading all my old blogs and thought I’d share. If nothing else, I promise you’ll get a laugh about some of the things I wrote.

Let’s look back, folks, and see what a long way I have come.

First off, from my very first online journal. This was written a few weeks after my parents separated. (Note: Most of this journal was dealing with the separation and my tumultuous senior year of high school.)

“life, or something like it…”
november 22, 2002

today. wow. even though today was a friday, it dragged by. painfully. that’s the way to describe it. it’s like, every minute that passed was just kinda moving by. no, time did not fly today. perhaps it was because i wasn’t having fun? (even though the in-school wrestling match was… well, interesting.)

i hate tests, i must admit in total honesty. especially ones with 5 paragraph essays AND a question part. we don’t even have enough time to make the essay sound nice and we’re wanted to take a 50 question multiple choice thingy along with it. i mean, that’s just cruel. doncha think so?

so i’m talking to a friend right now and we’re talking about our days. and about how he’s always happy because life is too short not to be. i’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. i mean, life is full of pain, but there’s no reason why we shouldn’t smile and just enjoy our time here. we never know when it’s gonna end. and to tell you the truth, i don’t want to know when it’s gonna end. he made a good point and it reminds me of something another friend said last year, “life’s too short to be nervous” and leads me to my conclusion of, “life’s too short to have any regrets.” i haven’t been very good about any of these lately and i’m thankful they’ve been brought to my attention. yeah… carpe diem, my friends.

tonight is the first basketball game and i’m probably going to it (who knows?). i used to play for the girls’ varsity team and i am exhilarated because i am at home right now while they’re driving out to the boonies (yes, the game is about 45 miles away from here). i don’t miss the coach or not playing, but i miss my friends on the team. but its all good. every girl who has quit the wshs girls’ team in the past 4 years is playing on a rec team together and we’re gonna have so much fun. two of our guys are “coaching” us and at our first practice on wednesday, we beat a guy’s team. oh yeah. and for the first time in about two years as i walked into the gym, a sense of dread didn’t overcome me. and i had fun. real fun on the basketball court with my friends, not worrying about the next thing coach was going to make us do or bothering to do the 20 minute run or even running a few 16’s. yes, it was a good day and it will be a good season. we’re out to have fun and we are no longer playing basketball in hell.

and, on a closing note, today is the first day of the rest of my life. peace out.

Poetic, I know.

Let’s zoom to the freshman year of college. This was the first actual post after my obligatory, “I’m blogging again” entry.

“Last Night”
November 10, 2003

I had an incredibly tough night. Things in my life definitely are not what one would consider ‘good,’ by any means or standards. I am just so confused and the circumstances make my heart ache every time a fleeting thought of them crosses my befuddled mind.

All that I am going to say is thank God for friends who will do anything to see you smile, watch The Emporer’s New Groove in the middle of the night just to hear you laugh, bake you two cookies (instead of the entire batch) and offer them to you when you’re on the phone outside then running back into the apartment before you can refuse their sugary goodness, offer to cook for you really late into the night, make you listen to country music to hear you whine and to convince you that ‘it’s not all that bad,’ give you massages when they don’t want to, want to learn about your life and how they can help you, let you sleep on their couch with no questions asked, and listen to what you say, offer some advice, then empathize with you, offering their shoulder for you to cry on. And so many more things that I can’t even begin to list…

I have such amazing friends. I honestly don’t know where I would be without them right now.

Maybe the college newspaper friends were right when they called me emo? (Even though I kinda make up for it by talking about my awesome friends. And even though this was written closely after the divorce was finalized.)

And then one of the first entries from the sophomore year Xanga.

“no title”
January 15, 2005

after five and a half hours in the car, i’m finally back in baton rouge.  i’m rather excited about this upcoming semester (i am officially a dork).  my class schedule doesn’t seem to be too challenging (right now, at least) and i’m taking classes that i actually want to take, so that all helps.

i’m feeling… disoriented tonight and i can’t quite put my finger on it.  while i know what it’s vaguely about, i don’t know why those feelings have swelled up right now.  *shrugs*  perhaps it has something to do with me being deleriously tired, having driven a long distance today, and not have gotten a good rest last night?

we went and saw in good company tonight.  it was good, in a surprisingly different way.  it didn’t turn out the way i thought it would and that was kind of refreshing.  once again, though, i found myself mirrored somewhat in a screwed up movie character.  … sensing a trend here, anyone?

“what you got?”
“i have a little bit of a buzz, too.  … and i like you.  so i have that.  i guess i have that.”

why can’t most people be this honest to each other?  i hate how i’ve been under the horrible assumption that putting yourself out there gets you hurt.  but then again, if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never know.  … i can say that i’ve put myself out there, at least somewhat, and i did get hurt.

keeping in line with that, i stood up for myself tonight.  i’m not particularly happy with one boy and i don’t particularly care about being nice because he wasn’t.  chalk one up for me.  ’cause this never, ever happens.  yessssss.

back to square one.  but really, this is a good thing.  … love comes softly, though, and i have a feeling that it will surprise me whenever/if it does happen.

And the love thing? It totally did sneak into my life quietly. Good call, 20-year-old self!

Then we get back to StyHand. The following is my third post.

“Umm, excuse me?”
February 13, 2008

A few weeks ago, I photographed at a music store on assignment.

When I went to ask a kid his name for the cutline, this conversation ensued:

ME: “Hey. Could you spell your name for me?

CHILD: “H-u-c-k-a-b-y.”

ME: “OK, thanks.”

CHILD: “Yeah, in case you were wondering, I’m kinda related to the guy running for president.”

ME: “Oh.”

… More than anything, I wanted to tell the boy to try and impress someone his own age. I also didn’t have the heart to tell him I think it’s crazy how many votes his ‘relative’ has garnered in the South, let alone my home state. Another point? The boy’s name is spelled differently, so he can’t really be that related to the candidate.

I also was tempted to come back with, “Well, in case you were wondering, I’m kinda related to Sarah Jessica Parker.”

Because we have the same hair, the same eyes, and… no, wait.
We just share a name. Hrm.

Aaaand that’s it, folks.

Have you looked back at your old entries recently? Do they make you laugh? Because I know mine do!